PRE-READING Harry Potter and The Cursed Child (spoiler free)

OH MY GOD. IT HAPPENED. THE FATEFUL DAY HAS ARRIVED. ON THIS DAY JULY 31ST WE CELEBRATE THE MERRIEST OF BIRTHDAYS FOR MR. HARRY J. POTTER. oh and ya know, ANOTHER HARRY POTTER BOOK!!!! You would not be wrong in assuming that I am freaking out.
    I will be the first to admit that I am very nervous to read this book. Of course I'm excited to read about the next generation of wizards, but....in a way, I feel like I'm ruining the ending of the series. I absolutely loved the way Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ended, and I will undo that ending if I read this book because it will no longer be the end. 
    I'm also worried by all the different things I've heard about this book. It was originally a play, which is why it is a script. From what I've gathered, the story of this play...is not very good, which is worrisome for obvious reasons. This book/script/whatever was co-written by these two other guys, which leads me to believe that J. K. Rowling pulled a James Patterson and she didn't write this (I also heard that from other sources so I'm not just speculating). 
    On the other hand, my Pinterest is almost entirely Harry Potter posts right now. Mostly about the Mauraders, but also lots and lots of head canons about the next generation! I would love to read about Harry and Ginny's kids and the next bout of Weasleys. I want to know what our favorite characters do for a living now, how they spend their days, what they're up to. I also want to see Hogwarts now that Harry isn't screwing up their education anymore. 
    Harry Potter is so important to me. Like many people, I grew up on these books even if I didn't read them as they came out. It was the basis for my love of fantasy and my obsession over fictional characters. So of course...I'm going to read the book. 
    That being said, I would be reading the book right now...IF I HAD IT. 
    THAT'S RIGHT. I DON'T HAVE THE FREAKING BOOK. AND IT'S AUGUST 1ST. Let me regale you. 
    Let's begin our story a couple months ago. Back in February, I journeyed to my most visited website (booksamillion.com) to pre order Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. I didn't want to have to worry about getting a copy. I was securing my claim on that book months in advance! 
    Flash back to Saturday, July 30th. My friend and I were planning to go to a midnight release party. I was able to purchase the book there, but I didn't. Because my copy would be waiting for me when I woke up the next day, right? WRONG. 
    WHAT DOES BOOKS A MILLION THINK "ships July 31st" MEANS? OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT IT WILL SHIP ON THAT DAY BECAUSE HERE I AM WITH NO BOOK.
@BOOKS A MILLION. 
annoyed frustrated what the fuck are you doing cat
    Once I calmed down, despite the deep wrongdoing I was being dealt, I went back through my emails to find my order confirmation. In tiny little text, the email says "books a million shipping hours are business days only. We do not ship on weekends" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? WHY WOULD YOU TELL ME IT WOULD SHIP THE DAY IT COMES OUT IF YOUR SHIPPING HOURS DO NOT INCLUDE THAT DAY??? I would like to compose an open letter to Books A Million. 

Dear Books A Million,

I don't think you understand what book this is. It's Harry Freaking Potter. You are a large corporation with lots of resources. I think you can spare the shipping costs to get me my book on a Sunday when it's a special occasion like this. I don't ask for much. I just want you to stop acting like Uncle Vernon, who non coincidentally IS ONE OF THE WORST PEOPLE IN THE SERIES. 
SINCERELY,
A DEPRIVED FAN. 

    Ok. Now that I have the information, I figure "okay. It'll just ship on Monday. Great. I can wait another day". So guess what awaits me on Monday morning? NOT A SHIPMENT NOTIFICATION. 
    It's time for me to contact costumer service. My original email from them states I could either email them or call their customer service number. Of course I choose to email because why would I choose to talk to a human? I receive a prompt reply, so here I am thinking "oh great they got back to me fast" but no. All the email says is that they received my request and it will be reviewed with the next 48 hours. 48 HOURS??? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY SPOILERS I COULD COME ACROSS IN TWO DAYS? 
   Fine. I resign myself that I'm going to have to call the number. I sit through the little robot spiel about becoming a member and going to their website and blah blah blah. I dial my order number. Then, a faint angel chorus is heard as Ashley, the saint of customer service, picks up the line. 
    ASHELY DESERVES TO BE NAMED CUSTOMER SERVICE EMPLOYEE OF THE CENTURY. SHE LOOKED UP MY ORDER (which had multiple books in it) AND IMMEDIATELY ASKED ME IF I WAS WONDERING  ABOUT HARRY POTTER. ASHLEY UNDERSTANDS MY STRUGGLE. NOT ONLY DOES SHE TELL ME ON THE PHONE THAT MY BOOK WILL BE DELIVERED TODAY, SHE EMAILS ME TOO. JUST TO MAKE SURE I'M GOOD. 
    ALL HAIL ASHLEY. 

    Hopefully, I will have the book by the end of today. I will read it as fast as I can and hit you guys with a review. Until then, I'm going to stay off the Internet to avoid spoilers and get out my wand to prepare for the magical experience that reading this book will be. Stay tuned for part 2 of my Harry Potter and the Cursed Child adventures. 


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